READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
