if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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