he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
