i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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