Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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