You really coming over, don't trick.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
