I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
