Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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