would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
tell me about the eggs
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