So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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