I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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