I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
