I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I would ride that face into the sunset
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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