Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
