I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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