How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
