He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
my shit smells like andre
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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