I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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