Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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