She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
