there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
