So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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