I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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