on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
