It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Randomize
