therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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