But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
