oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
