So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
How external is "for external use only"?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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