i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
false alarm, still single
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
