so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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