I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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