Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
