just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
