I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
