Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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