FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize