It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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