omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
