it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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