I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize