I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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