He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
what is it with giant penises always finding me
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
