I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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