It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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