My sheets look like a crime scene.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
