i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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