i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We are all done wearing pants today
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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