also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
