Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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