If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just made my gag reflex go away.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
