i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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