Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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